Money Money Money

I need money, so I can pay my rent
I need money, I don't have a damn cent.
I'm stayin positive so I don't lose my head.
But I need money cuz my bills are in the red.
I need money, so I can by new clothes
I need mo money Lord only knows.
I'm staying positive so I can stay sane.
But I need money, yeah I'm gonna say it again.
Send me a dollar dot com!
Come on job come on.
Send me five dollars dot com.
Come on please come on.
Mama needs a new place.
Daddy needs some new space.
Sistas need some peace
don't wanna renew my lease.
I need money so I can pay my rent.
I need money I don't have a damn red cent.
I'm stayin positive so I don't lose my head.
But I need money cuz my bills are in the red.

What I'm Thankful for...

I'm thankful for the Creator who made this earth. I'm thankful for my Mother and my Father. I'm thankful for my 2 best friends who just happen to be my sisters. I'm thankful for my Grandmother my Grandfather, my uncles, aunt, cousins, and friends. I'm thankful for the sky, sun, moon, rain. I'm thankful for the stars. I'm grateful for my size 16 figure, I'm thankful for my sense of humor. I'm thankful for my intelligence and my intellect. I'm thankful for memories that I can look back on and laugh so hard that I have to hold myself up. I'm thankful for memories that I can look back on and try to learn from the mistakes I've made. I'm thankful for my toyota corrolla, I'm thankful for my nice apartment. I'm thankful for making mistakes that got me to where I am. I'm thankful for being able to put my feelings into words. I'm grateful to say that I still have a lot to learn. I'm thankful to say that I've learned a lot. I'm thankful to have meaningful friends. I'm thankful to have loving and understanding parents. I'm grateful to have lived in such wonderful places. I'm thankful for my honesty. I'm thankful for my physical abilities, I'm thankful for my spiritual abilities. I'm thankful.

Gobble Gobble..

Well Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I'm ok. I'm happy that
I finally had a chance to see my sister come down from Atlanta.
I was kinda hoping her belly was getting bigger from her baby, however
it was still wonderful to see her and her little pouch. It was a memorable
turkey day with my Mom, 2 sisters, my boyfriend and I. I had really wished
though that we were all back home in Cali, over at Nana and Bumpas
on good ole Susquehanna Court, with Christmas music playing in the background, the smell of turkey mixed with stuffing in the air. Mom rolling her dough for
the cinnamon rolls she's famous for, but wait, what our Mom is really famous for
is her famous cherry pie! Man I'm tellin ya my uncles used to fight over
that! Her pie is no joke! I don't know what it is she does but it's some kind
of secret. I miss the whole family being together, my Mom, Dad, Nana, Bumpa, Uncles, Auntie, cousins, friends, friends of friends, just everyone. See over at N&B's
whoever you were, you were family once you stepped through the doors.
I loved the fact that everyone loved to come over to our house for many
occasions. Our house was just like that ya know? Our house was kinda like
how 'That 70s Show' setting is like. Everyone just kinda comes over
and makes themselves comfortable, of course with respect for N&B. Well I've just had my 2nd serving of leftovers and I'm debating on whether or not I want to work
out or not. NAH! I'll wait. Today is a lazy day.

Does Love really make us stupid?

I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker from Sex in the City. Ok enough comparisons.
Does love really make us stupid? Well I think 'yes' it does. But maybe 'stupid'
is a harsh word, so lets just say 'sometimes common sense inept' lets abbreviate and say SCSI. I mean love can make us bail a loved one out of jail, it can make us bungee jump, it can probably make us eat worms!! But I think love makes us do the things that we do to be with that person. We want that person to be happy and viceversa. Well it's not like we plan to fall in love with who we do, we just do! I've heard so many talk shows and self help articles that mention that we can choose who fall in love with. Well personally I think it's bullshit. If we can plan who we fall in love with then everybody would be doing it. Also, planning to fall in love doesn't seem like genuine love to me. To me 'genuine' love can be explained like walking down the street one day, turning the corner, bumping into someone by accident and then falling in love with each other. You can't 'contrive' love. Ok yes, we may fall in love with many frogs before we find our princes, and many of us just stay with the frogs. But does that mean that the princes are exactly perfect??? I mean you know what they say.. "the grass isn't always greener on the other side". Then on the other hand maybe we can choose who we fall in love with. But I seem to find that little be harder. I mean come on I've chosen to marry Shemar Moore, Brad, and Denzel but those ships have sailed. Anyway, that was just a question I had in my head. I don't think loves makes us stupid, it just may push our boundries a little further. But don't get me wrong I'll do anything 'within reason' for my loved ones!

24!

Yes folks Jack Bauer is back tonite for 2 hours and I plan on watching
all of ihttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gift! I'm bothered because it cuts into my Amazing Race show
but that's cool I watch it next week! We'll see how this show goes tonite. I wonder if they'll have the same writers. I hope so, if it aint broke don't fix it.
We don't need any new writers because so far they've been great.
At my sisters complex they're having a 24 viewing party in the one of the rooms!
I think that's good and social. Oh well, I'm gonna curl up with my blanket and
maybe some Ben n Jerrys and watch my Jack! Till next time Ya'll love and blessings!

I remember way back way back when....

I guess I'll just start typing. the mind is filled with so many words and pictures and phrases and memories, that sometimes our bodies can't keep up. I think that's the reason why we sleep. Maybe our bodies and brains are racing to catch up with the pace that our mind is working, and by the end of a typical workday our bodies just say "ok mind I'll hit you back tomorrow." Then the mind says it's cool I'll see you in a couple of years!" LOL! The mind is constant, but the body is not, meaning that in some point in time, our bodies will stop working but our minds we believe will go on somewhere, sometime. I woke up this morning with probably a thousand images, or ideas, or worries, or tasks that I had to reach going through my mind and it wasn't even 9:00 yet! I basically went to California and back in about 2 minutes. Made a cup of tea and looked at pictures. Went to my computer to create something then my computer began posting pictures ( the way it does when it's in sleep mode) As I saw the pictures of my Mom, Dad, sisters, family and friends come up on the screen then fade away I was taken through parts of my life, it was like journeying through time. Then I saw my life flash before my eyes. I thought about my childhood and how it all began. I thought about San Francisco, San Bruno, Sunnyvale, DC and I compacted most of the memories I had growing up in those places. I thought about the time when my sisters and I lied about going to Great America and then ended up going anyway. I sat there and laughed and cried at the same time. Laughing because it was so funny that we turned a lie into the truth without even realizing it, and crying because I missed those girls, the girls that had so much spunk and certainty. The girls that had not a care in the world except eating, sleeping, and getting into trouble. The girls that were sisters and best friends. I know that we are still best friends, but I realize that as we grow we change, and that we have to get to know each other again. Well I'm gonna stop now and just say I love rollercoasters!

SOAR!

First of all, Thank you Mama for the beautiful book. It came so unexpectedly
and it was right on time! I was watching 'Inside Edition' this morning and they had a story about a woman who was born with no arms. She was very courageous! Here's the catcher, she learned how to fly a plane!!! I mean can you believe this?? Out of all messages to speak to me, this one stood out like a sore thumb! The woman in the story had learned to do everything from text messaging with her feet, to putting in contact lenses! It was truly amazing and inspirational. Anyway, the woman had always had a fear of flying so she decided to take flying lessons! OMG OMG OMG OMG!! That's EXACTLY what I did HELLO! i was literally crying on my couch. They brought cameras aboard the plane so that you could see this woman actually flying a plane with her FEET!! My mouth was wide open! I was soooooo uplifted! It just made me want to board a plane sooner! Error, and Mortal Mind you're on your way out! Nile's is coming to get ya! LOVE TO ALL OF YOU! CHANGE YOUR MIND CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!! I love you Bumpa!

kinda cool..

I got this in my email and I thought it was kinda cool.
I really hope I can get some innauguration tickets.
We'll see.

New York..

I wonder what NY is like bcuz I'm thinking about moving there.
I don't know, in the movies they make NY out to be like the
answer to everyones problems. Like NY is a place to go to fall in love, to get style
to become popular, to be on MTV and become famous, to have the hard life so you can learn about life kinda thing. Billy Joel says he's in a New York state of mind.
Well, I wouldnt know about that, so I guess I have to move to NY to find this out
right? I guess I need to experience the island with over 8 million people living in tiny huts with roaches which charge out the ass for living there. I guess I need to go and live in a tiny apartment with 6 people to learn the meaning of life. I guess
I need to be like Jennifer Hudson in 'Sex in the City' and move to NY to fall in love and rent designer bags off of bagborroworsteal.com. I guess I need to move there to go jogging in Central Park so I can get mugged so I can say that I've really lived my life. Or maybe I need to make a guest appearance on TRL and pull a crazy Mariah Carey and pull out popsicles from my bag of tricks. Or maybe I can be like all of the Sailors in the movie 'On the Town' with Gene Kelly. I would dance and sing in the rain while looking for a date. I don't know it sounds like a good idea. Maybe I can move to New York and when something ever bad begins to happen to me Superman will swoop out of the sky and rescue me. Then we'll fall in love and he'll lose his powers for me. Or maybe I can move to New York and I'll meet Denzel Washington in the middle of shooting another Spike Lee Joint. Maybe I'll give it a shot and move there once I've graduated from college and gotten my degree.

They still matter...

All of those people, all of their voices crying, their whispered breath barley reaching their lips
because of their empty bellies, I can hear you and you mattered. To all of those souls who were
forced into slavery, drowned at sea, strapped to stone and sent down to the far places of the earth, those of you who
were beaten and tortured, starved and used for experiments your lives were NOT in vain!
Somebody loved and still loves you. Most may have not shed a tear, but I will cry for you, and
I will hold my head high for you. I can hear you and you mattered. Some have forgotten,
some of us never forget, some of us will forgive, some of us may never forgive.
Even though I did not know you, I hear you and you do matter.

The Spiritual Athlete..

My Mother is a Spiritual Athlete. She always decides to see the truth in every situation no matter how grave it may appear. My Mama is right, in these trying times when the the economy seems to be in a depression, or people seem to be in a depression, we all MUST hold fast in the knowing that only GOOD is happening. My mother mentioned that the athlete is strong in mind and that's what gives them the physical strength.
It's true because no athlete can succeed if he believes that he has no strength. The athlete already wins because he wakes up in the morning KNOWING that he will triumph in whatever sport he attempts, and even if he doesn't get first place he's at peace with himself because he gave it his all! I think that it's time to flex the
'spiritual muscle' and give that one a chance to develop. Do you realize what we could accomplish if we exercised that muscle? Let's move mountains! Mama, you're a GENIUS!!

I'm sleepy today, and dogs look like their owners..

Yes today is a stay in bed kinda day, and I'm sleepy.
It's true, people do look like their dogs or visa versa.
There's this woman in our apartment who is a little bit crazy.
She's one of the people who are allowed to have a dog in the building
even though this apartment doesnt allow dogs. Her dog
is one of those 'guide dogs' you know the ones that help their owners
around? So anyway, this woman is weird. She talks to herself
as well as to others, she's a little bit on the heavy side, has long
brown hair that she doesn't bother to style, pale white skin, and her eyes
don't focus on you. They seem to look off to the side or something.
So anyway, her dog is a sweet creature however, the dog is also on the heavier side,
his head droops, has a light brown fur coat. But when you see them together
you can tell that they belong together. So folks, if you are feeling depressed
PLEASE don't get a dog that is depressed too! That's abuse for the dog! Get
a damn poodle or a happy small barking dog that will yo ass on your feet!

On the goodfoot..

Today was a pretty good day. It was overcast outside here in Rockville MD.
Overcast makes me sleepy. Anyway I got up this morning, had breakfast hot curled
my hair, then went back to sleep, got up showered then went to look for work.
I went to fill out an application at PF Changs. I got a good vibe when I went in.
I filled out the application then handed that in along with my updated resume,
then I left and went over to Cheesecake factory and they told me that they are not
hiring. I don't care, I didn't wanna work there anyway, THAT PLACE SUCKS!
Anyway my sister told me that she went to apply there and she had to
take an assessment test. What kinda stupid crap is that?? I mean come on,
they ask you questions like: If you find money on the ground what will you do?
Will you A: bring it to the lost and found? B: pocket it? or C: burn the 5 dollar bill?
Ya know what any normal sane person would choose to pocket the money, I mean
damn, even the boss would pocket it. What makes employers think that their employees
(who are there to make money) would return money that is clearly up for grabs??
Anyway, ta heck with CHZCK. There's a place for me. I just have to keep pushin on.
I'm just happy that I did what I set out to do.
I'm at peace with myself if I do what I said I was gonna do and accomplish.
That's one of the wonderful things that My Mother taught me is to FINISH what you do.
No matter if it's just taking out the trash, or doing homework, as long as you FINISH what you start
you've accomplished a GREAT deal! Thanks Mama!! :-)

Why is it that...

Ok, so the library is a place for studying right?? Right??
So why is it that sometimes people just don't seem to get it!
It's the library not the damn amusement park for goodness sakes!
So anyway, I'm in the library and this English woman walks in
with her loud son and they just start talking so very loudly.
I constantly look up to the sky and ask God WHY ME??
However, there have been times when I've just said to myself
'screw this!' and hurt peoples feelings. I guess I'm growing
and learning as I go. So anyway, the kid is going on and on
and on, and don't get me wrong I love kids (sometimes) and the mother
is looking at me looking at her in a not so accepting way, and she still
continues to egg her son on asking him questions like, "what did you do today?"
and "what color was the lettuce?' and "what do you say to the lady?"
She's just asking more and more questions, but finally she left the child here
with the babysitter that was here in the library. So luckily the babysitter
(who has some sense) tells the child to 'shush' I love that babysitter.
I wonder if I will be this way with my kids??

I miss cable....

I've just about gone out of my mind. I was sitting in my living room watching an episode of America's Next Top Model and I can't believe that I'm actually listening to what they are saying. I felt like I was in the middle of a bad movie, you know the one when a person is sitting on the couch with the remote in their hand staring blankly at the TV screen, flipping through 6 stations, hoping something interesting will come on so you can forget all of your other troubles, but nothing good seems to be on but you continue to flip through the stations anyway until finally you just stop at 'ANTM' because you just decided to give up. So anyway, I'm listening to these skinny ass dorky girls, eating ice or drinking coffee complaining about how they 'sucked' at the last photo shoot. Man their vocabulary is so broad! Almost every thing that came out of their mouths were LIKE. LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE! I was like OH MY FREAKIN GOD! I felt like a zombie. So I just turned the TV off and now I'm down here in the library because this is the only place where WIfi is available. So there you have it, I really miss cable, I wonder how the TV's will work once February comes around. I wonder if the digital TV will be any better. Well that's it for now, until I come up with something else to talk about. So bye!

Straight vs. Nappy...

Well I personally think that my nappy hair is beautiful.
I've had it that way for years. I must admit that it CERTAINLY
is time consuming to maintain, but then I again I never really
maintained it anyway!! LOL I just let it grow. However, I'm amazed
to see how people react to African American women's hair texture.
For example, when I was wearing my hair natural I once had this
African man approach me, wait a minute, it's more like he HONED in on me and began to strike up a conversation. I don't really remember everything that he said, but one thing that did stick out to me is that he said in his African accent "you are a strong woman, I love strong woman they are beautiful!" It was a compliment I thought or I guessed, however at the same time I couldn't help thinking that why didn't I get compliments like that from African American men?? Did my hair mean something?? It must've! Men must relate certain things to the way a womans hair looks. I feel like India Irie ( *Sings* I AM NOT MY HAIR)I've noticed that when my hair was straight I would get approached more from men as opposed to men when my hair was natural. This is just a thought that I had. *Sings* "I am not my hair"

I smile on the inside...

So..

So today is Wednesday and I had music practice yesterday. It was alright, we rehearsed Dean Martins version of 'Baby it's cold outside' to me it sounds so corny. It amazes me the songs that people want to pick for their first dance at their weddings. One couple wanted us to sing the theme song from Top Gun called 'The Danger Zone' we fucked that one up big time. It was hilarious! We didn't even make it through the first eight counts of the song! I still crack up when I think about that.